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Damn! Get to a certain age and all you hear about from your parents are about you getting hitched. What’s worse is that everytime someone you know gets married, the pressure mounts on you to go and walk down the Green Mile with your happily-ever-after (bah!) partner. What makes the whole thing worse for a hardcore gamer is that destiny always plays an unfair hand by throwing you in with someone who has absolutely no respect for your gaming habits and would rather complain about how childish you are while she plonks her ass down on the couch to watch cooking shows and brain-deadening soap operas that would make any grown man try to kill himself in the first 5 minutes.

While most of us try to convince our girlfriends and future wives about how we love games just as much as they love shoe shopping, some of us stash our favorite games in secret nooks that she would never find. Heck, her finding the secret games stash would bring more raining death-fire on our heads than her finding our extensive porno stash and sex toy collection. And then there are the wusses, the ones who are completely willing to sell out, quite literally, by putting years and years of gaming history for sale on eBay for a ridiculously low amount of dough.

Take a look at this guy. He’s selling almost every game console and videogame that’s been released for the last 20 years on eBay just because he’s going to marry some girl! Jeez, man, you’d give away classics that you don’t have a whelk’s chance in a supernova of getting back just for a girl. Just take a look at his collection, he’s got systems like the Atari 2600, ColecoVision and the NeoGeo and practically every top rated game ever made in the history of gaming and he’s practically signing his soul over to the devil. Face it, dude, you’re gonna get a LOT more love from Shining Force than you’ll ever get from her. I hate to think what’s gonna happen to this guy if she decides to dump his ass some day and walk out on him. Did I mention he’s got the original box packaging for almost everything he owns? Yeah. this guy deserves to wear the ball and chain, and I most certainly don’t mean the proverbial one.

Wanna own gaming history?
Head on over to the gaming pariah’s eBay listing >>


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