We all love Portal and think its the best thing since people discovered that the Internet could be used for stuff other than boring research papers. So quickly, before you question about how perverse we are, let us tell you that we did not make this. There isn’t much to say about this lil’ slash-fiction doodle, so I won’t say it.

But the real deal is, Portal is for lesbians! Or that’s what Heroine Sheik says. Obviously being as sarcastic as GLaDOS herself (we hope), the article looks at a number of in-game imagery that apparently point to such a conclusion – including the presence of an all-female cast and the “reshaping” of guns to fire orifices (or vaginas, for you purists) instead of bullets. Hmm, I always thought guns were just guns, but I guess I should start looking at everything in terms of sex. Not that I already don’t, but just saying…

After stumbling on the fact that the Weighted Companion Cube is indeed a male (hello, the achievement is called “fratricide”. Also, picture! ^^^ ) which kinda puts a lil’ ding in her argument, she pulls a Freud on the usefulness of men – “They’re cute, but they’re a burden.” Strange, that’s exactly how we men feel about women at times.

I suppose I could just as well look at Portal and start dragging religion and politics into the whole mess. Or I could just look at a set of blueprints and see a drinking bird. But I think I’ll go do what I do best. Run up behind a turret and grab it, chuckling as it panics and starts saying stuff that are eerily reminescent of what my girlfriend says if I do the same thing to her.

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