Yes, we know. We’ve all heard things both good and bad about the new Alone in the Dark game, but the only way you’re really going to find out about it is if you play it for yourself. Which is exactly what three of our lucky winners will get to do, thanks to the Alone in the Dark contest that we’re running with Milestone Interactive.

Watch this space for our multiplatform reviews and comparisons of Alone in the Dark coming soon, along with one of our devilishly devious trademark Flash puzzles and you could win a copy of the game for the PC, Xbox 360 or the Wii. Be afraid, be very afraid. Of our puzzle, that is.

Alone In The Dark Contest Page

With Ninja Gaiden II sneaking just around the corner, the uber-awesome-crazy ninja dogs here at The ANGRY Pixel are all set to unleash our unique brand of ninjitsu on all you unsuspecting folk living your mundane, bloodless lives out there.

With crazy contests being our forte (and the secret behind our enchanted ninja superpowers), we’ve teamed up with our dark bretheren at Microsoft yet another time to bring you the all-new, all-black Be A Ninja! contest. Just in time to celebrate the launch of Ninja Gaiden II and the fact that we’ve managed to ninjassassinate 10,001 people that dared to look at us or ask us for the time.

Now since we’d like to take a breather from all this senselessly sensual killing and play some NG2 ourselves, we’re taking applications for ninja trainees who we’d like to slaughter virtually in the game before we turn them into sushi with our katanas. That’s right, no codes to break, no brain bending puzzles to solve and the best part is, you don’t even have to kill your family and bring us their still-beating hearts!

All you have to do is, quite simply, be a ninja. Show us how good a ninja you are, by sending us a photograph of you in all your ninja-awesomeness. Make costumes and props from whatever you can find, have a friend click you in your secret ninja identity (remember to kill him once he’s done) and then send the photo over to iareninja@theangrypixel.com along with your full name, your contact number and your complete postal address. This way, if you win, we can send you some awesome Ninja Gaiden II prizes. If you don’t, we’ll be sure to send a midget ninja in the envelope to kill you for being such a miserable failure in life.

That’s it for now. I’m going to go and make me some ninja noodles. They’re just like regular noodles, but we boil them just by staring at them and use poisoned kunai knives for chopsticks.

With Crysis, every day is a cold day in Hell. And what better way to celebrate a Snow Day (or rather, Flash Freeze Day) than by sending North Koreans and distant cousins of the xenomorphs to meet their respective makers? One lucky bastard, however, will get so much more, if Tech2 Gaming have their way with the “Experience Crysis” contest. Specifically, playing it for two days straight South Park style on “the best hardware money can buy”, getting to review it on CNBC / CNN-IBN, and a goodie bag that includes a limited edition copy of the game, a six-foot (Sweet Zombie Jesus!) tall exclusive Crysis poster and an NVIDIA 8800 GTS 320 MB video card.

All you gotta do to try and be The One is to head over to Tech2’s Crysis review, spot the “hidden code” (come on, guys, you can do better than that!), send an email to Tech2 and wait and pray the rest of the competition drops dead so you’ll be picked. Or, if you’re clever (like us), you can just wait outside the Tech2 offices and wait for The One to come out, stick a BB shotgun in his face and make off with the goodie bag while he’s watering the lawn. Maybe even finish him off Condemned: Criminal Origins style for good measure. After that, maybe we’ll all use the Universal Machine Language Time Code and go back in time for some frozen pizza. Yum!