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So you’re either pre-loading the full version of the game on Steam/Direct2Drive or like me, planning to go into hibernation until the Xbox 360 version comes along. In either case, if you’ve got the munchies for BioShock, here’s some more stuff to brighten (or ruin) your day.
1. Play the BioShock demo on Hard:
So the musical menu in the demo isn’t allowing you to play it on the highest difficulty possible? That’s easily remedied. Before starting the demo, head to your Gamer Profile and edit the default settings. Under General, select your default difficulty setting to Hard and when you start up the BioShock demo, the Hard difficulty should be automatically selected. Just hit A to (presumably) play the demo on this difficulty level. Be warned - if you move out of the selection, there is no way to get back to Hard without restarting the demo.
2. BioShock + IDCLIP = Insanity:
The power of physics compells you! Let BioShock’s awe-inspiring physics engine propel you outside the map, so you can take a stroll underwater, go around the entire area and have dead corpses wave you goodbye long after they’ve stopped breathing.
3. Worship Ken Levine:
Print out a picture of Irrational, oops, 2K Boston’s Creative Director, Ken Levine and worship the rise of a new gaming legend by offering his photo a burnt biscuit. Or you could just go over here and read about the rise of Ken to cult status, possibly among the ranks of Shiggy Miyamoto, Hideo Kojima and Warren Spector. And yes, you can eat the rest of the biscuits yourself.
4. Stare the countdown timer down:
If you don’t have Steam on your PC, get it now or just go here to watch the hypnotic countdown timer that they’ve got going for the BioShock launch. Tick, tock, 4 days, 22 hours, 14 minutes and 40 seconds to go. No wait, 4 days, 22 hours, 14 minutes and 35 seconds… no wait, 4 days, 22 hours, 14 minutes and 20 seconds….
5. Spoil it for others:
Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around. That’s one of the most important lessons in life I learnt from Calvin. With a ton of jerks running around playing BioShock, it’s inevitable that they are itching to spoil it all for the others. Some are considerate enough to put up videos on YouTube, where I can choose not to watch them, or mark their posts with a spoiler warning. Others just spill their guts out all over the floor and leave a bloody, shitty mess for you to slip on and crack your head. In a case of the latter, one guy has just posted the “Secret” achievements from BioShock at a forum, which another (so-called) “friend” saw and decided to ruin my life by conveniently posting them in an IM conversation, where I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. Since I’ve already seen them, it makes sense that I try to ruin more peoples’ lives by posting about it here. Hmph, with friends like these, who needs enemies…
There, that should keep you sane until the PC demo releases later today, or until you take a shotgun to the nearest store and demand that they hand over a copy of the game to you right the hell now (pump shotgun in hand, wearing dark glasses and say in a German accent: “I insist!”) or face eternal damnation.
Right, we knew this would happen, even if the folks at the Cult of Rapture kept denying it. With the release date SNAFU looming over their heads, 2K Games, Valve and IGN have confirmed that BioShock is now available for pre-load and pre-purchase on Steam and Direct2Drive right now! If you couldn’t manage to wrangle a copy of the Xbox 360 version from your local TRU store, then this is the fastest way for you to get to play the game. Although the game is selling for $49.95 on Steam and Direct2Drive, the latter is offering a $5 coupon that can be used for a later purchase. So, what are you waiting for? Start your preloads now… even as you wait for the demo to come out tomorrow on Steam, so that you don’t have to go through the agony of watching it fuck up on FileShack and FilePlanet at 99%.
Now since I don’t have a PC that can handle this game well enough, I am going to ask that none of you are kind enough to buy it for my PC friends with the Intel Core 2 Duos and the 8800 GTSs, just so they don’t lord it over me by playing the game before I do on my Xbox 360, thanks to Microsoft India that seems hell-bent on importing games a friggin’ MONTH after their US release dates, except for their own titles. Considering how long The Darkness took to release in India officially, I am guessing it will easily be another bloody month before I play the game, unless the folks at Microsoft India have pity on poor me. Thanks also go to the most honorable Vijay Sinha for smacking me upside the head with this news. There, happy now? Time to go and start unmaxing my credit card so that I can buy it for my lucky “friend” How do I hate the modded Xbox 360 owners, let me count the ways … ^%#*(@#&!%@^!@ Goodbye, you bastards. I hear they have a special circle in Hell reserved for you effin’ pirates. Gah!