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5 Luscious (& 1 Not-So-Luscious) Beat ‘Em Ups for 2008 & Beyond

For me, fighting games continue to be a part of my everyday fundamental, button-mashing diet. It only seems like yesterday when I was able to execute my first Hadoken in Street Fighter II. The first time I managed a Fatality off Mortal Kombat’s Johnny Cage, ripping his pretty little head off in supreme satisfaction. The first time experiencing Kasumi’s bouncy-breasty radiance in her Rabbit swimsuit from Dead or Alive Xtreme Volleyball… Oh wait, that last one didn’t have any fighting it in, did it? Ok, more or less, it still had the bouncy-breasty radiance that DOA games are still known for. Upon further reflecting on perpetual conundrums, even cruddy fighting games still had a memorable gimmick or two, like how Primal Fury was essentially Mortal Kombat but with prehistoric animals. Or how Kakuto Chojin so hilariously ripped off Fight Club’s plot. Ah, how one mingles in the memories of the inconsequential!

Getting back to the point, there are still game companies which have stayed long with the fighting genre and continue to support it, despite knowing that the days of coin-op arcades have long passed (Japan notwithstanding). Newer entries continue to be pumped – and thanks to the advent of better net infrastructure, more and more franchises are taking the leap to online matchmaking. No longer content to just playing your homies from the hood or the local game cafe, you’ll now be given the opportunity to fool around with players from all sorts of regions. You haven’t played a real game of Fatal Fury: Mark of the Wolves until some random 15-year-old Asian munchkin promptly hands over your carcass in less than a minute.

Thusly, I solemnly declare that a brief rundown on potential, forthcoming Beat em’ Ups shall be in effective order. Heaven or Hell, let’s fight!

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