So we’re all having truckloads of fun with the Orange Box, but with all the charm and the heartbreak of Episode Two, it looks like Portal is missing out on all the attention. And believe me, this is one game that literally takes the cake, pun very much intended. (In case you don’t get that awesome joke, then you need to get a life and find a way to play Portal.. NOW!)

We’ll have a multi-staff review on the Orange Box games soon enough (we’re still enjoying the games in Commentary mode), but in the meantime, I just had to drop in here to talk about how Valve has managed to create the most lovable, cuter-than-cute AI entity in the form of GLaDOS, the Portal AI that’s a cross between Cortana, 343 Guilty Spark, HAL-9000 and Aileen Wuornos on crack. Tempting you throughout the game with promises of a rich, moist, delicious cake before trying to finally bake you into one, GLaDOS, voiced by singer/actress Ellen McLain, finally gets torn to pieces by the player as she tries to escape the Aperture Science facility. The rub here is that GLaDOS, apparently, isn’t dead, considering her final report, which is delivered in the form of the best damned ending credits song I’ve ever heard in all my years of gaming.

I’d seriously recommend that you do not listen to this song if you haven’t finished Portal yet, simply because you’d ruin its intended effect. For the rest of us, and for the ones who are dead, enjoy your download of this awesome little ditty and sing along with the lyrics, which you can download, print, frame and gaze at for eternity after the jump.

And oh, don’t believe the heretic. Remember: There is a cake!

Download Portal - Ellen McLain - Still Alive (MP3/5.39 MB)

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WHEEEE! And the rockets start flying! After all those juicy videos that we saw of the developers and a select bunch of lucky bastards playing it, everyone who has pre-purchased the Orange Box can now get onto the awesomeness of Team Fortress 2, considering the beta has gone live as of today morning. After getting delayed by a couple of hours and two Steam updates later, I was up and running with the beta, but had to rush it and could only manage about 15 minutes on Dustbowl before running off to complete some pending stuff on my other “uncool” job. We have some screenshots for your viewing pleasure, and will bring you more details on the beta as well as the maps themselves and all that the beta has to offer a lil’ later in the day. For now, enjoy the fact that the beta is here, along with PC Achievements, stats tracking and endless rocket/grenade launcher spamming!

Hit the jump for the screenshots on my newest favorite in the Source multiplayer catalog.

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