There are times when people pull insane stunts in multiplayer and make me feel like a 90-year old impotent, senile loser, me playing the way I play (which isn’t too bad, but its no monster kill streak) and them doing stuff that I thought was damn near impossible. And then there’s Chris Chike (known in the legendary Guitar Hero III circles as Iamchris4life) who make me feel even worse, if such a thing is even possible.

The teen, known for setting a GH3 Guinness World Record of 840,647 points, on what is unarguably the hardest, damndest song in the game, “Through the fire and the flames”, has now managed to beat his own record - this time, scoring a perfect 100% on the song on Expert, earning 987,786 points and an obscene, heart-attack-inducing, finger-stiffening 3722 note streak. As if that wasn’t enough to make you (and me) hide under the nearest rock for the next billion, billion years, he’s gone ahead and recorded the whole thing on video, so you can now commit seppuku with your guitar controller and end the pain once and for all. That is, after your eyeballs pop out of their sockets and start behaving like bouncy balls.

Talking about the video, which is one of the most viewed videos on YouTube (with over 1.6 million views and still counting.. fast), Chris has said:

I was almost in shock when I finished the song and had hit the 100%-I am so glad I caught it on video or even I wouldn’t have believed it happened. It feels great to have accomplished it, and it is exciting to see so many people online watching me get a perfect score on the hardest song in the game.

Which I suppose explains the two loud swears I heard at the end - the one in the video itself, and the louder, more profane one escaping my own mouth as the unreality of what I’d just seen set in. Go ahead, watch the video and meet me back at my place so we can all emulate Heaven’s Gate. Gamer-style, of course.

Looks like the Scots are putting their own unique spin on the gaming world. After awarding the first Unreal Tournament III world record, the folks over at the Guinness World Records are now coming out with the Guinness World Records Gamers Edition 2008 on February 8th, 2008. Meant to be a collection of astounding videogame-related records, the book will carry detailed profiles on the best videogames ever made, interviews with record holders and a ton of awesome trivia that should prove to other people how big a videogame nerd you are - like knowing, for example, that Faiz Chopdat has served the “Longest Prison Sentence For Playing A Computer Game” after refusing to turn off his Tetris game while on board an airplane and instantly becoming my lord and master.

But wait, that’s not all, if you’ve been boasting all your life about kicking ass in Guitar Hero, here’s your chance to put your money where your mouth is by taking part in the very first Highest Scorer on Guitar Hero World Record attempt. All you gotta do is cosplay like your favorite guitar hero and end up on February 6th, 2008 at Paris, London, New York, Toronto, Los Angeles or Australia and prove you’ve got what it takes to to be the best damned GH player in the world. According to the official rules:

Players will rock in pairs to one song before passing on to the next Guitar Hero, with just 15 seconds changeover between jams! Paris will kick off proceedings followed by the London, New York, Toronto, LA and Sydney. Players will also be given the chance to form a group and compete for the highest score set by a 6 people playing one guitar, with each person allocated a key and the strum bar to play!

I suppose if you suck at that, you could try showing the world how you’re the best when it comes to 100%-ing every song on Expert with the standard Xbox 360 controller… and then get fed through a straw for the rest of your life…